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Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dear Oliver with Val Pearson

Hello and welcome to another episode of Dear Oliver! Today’s special guest is my good friend and one of the reviewers of You Gotta Read, Val Pearson. You don’t want to miss Val’s pet peeve, especially if your teenager is driving you bonkers with nerve-wracking music. So, come on in and belly up to the bar. And while you’re eavesdropping on Oliver’s sound advice, why not treat yourself to one of his legendary martinis! You’ll find his impressive venue listed on the sidebar. Not a martini fan? Not a problem. Oliver will make whatever drink strikes your fancy and serve it with a wink and a smile. And rumor has it that his tortilla chips and salsa are spicier than a pot of his Cajun Jambalaya. With no further ado, let’s give a warm round of applause to Val Pearson!

Oliver: What can I getcha to drink, love?

Val: Tequila straight up Oliver, it's been the most irritating day EVER!
Oliver mumbles under his breath, but when he turns to Val after pouring her chosen poison straight up, he flashes the charm with a wink and a smile. There we go then, love. With a flick of his 007 remote, a calming beach scene with gently rolling waves materializes on the big screen behind the bar. When Val downs her shot and points a finger to her empty glass, he leans a little closer. Why so glum, chum?

Val: It's this whole Glee soundtrack that my daughter has going on. It's not that I don't like Glee, but she plays it OVER and OVER and OVER!

Nodding, Oliver fills Val’s empty shot glass, tossing a Lemon wedge and shaker of salt on the bar as an after thought. We are at the beach, after all. So if y’all could sum up your pet peeve in a word, what would it be?

Val: One word? GLEE

With another flick of his 007 remote, The Eagles' Tequila Sunrise plays in the background. Oliver hums along. "Given the way you downed that rather potent shot down the ol’ hatch without coming up for air, I dare say the added amenities may keep y’all from falling off the bar stool like the rest of ‘em". Humming away, he takes a margarita glass, coating the rim in salt before presenting it. "As long as you think you’re woman enough to handle another shot of the nasty, knock yourself out, sweet thing."

Val coils her fingers around the glass in a death grip, brings it to her lips and knocks it back neat.

Oliver shoves a heaping basket of his tortilla chips and spicy salsa in front of her and smiles a beguiling smile. "Best have a bite to eat, love. Remember how tanked the boss lady got when she so foolishly thought she was woman enough to handle more than one martini. As if!" Oliver pumps his biceps and hums another verse of Tequila Sunrise. Plucking a chip from the basket, he dips it in salsa and feeds it to Val. Then another. "Now about your pet peeve with Glee, love. But if you’re not ready to rant and rave just yet, who can I play for you on the jukebox?"

Val: *sigh* if you could play me some Bon Jovi, I would love you forever Oliver.

Oliver presses a button on his JB remote and Bon Jovi appears on the background beach scene and the music begins. Casting Val a wildly wicked wink, he plucks up his electric guitar and spews forth, gazing into her eyes the whole while. In moves that Jon Bon Jovi himself would envy, Oliver shakes it loose.

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
It’s my life
It’s my life

Oliver flings his guitar over his head and takes a sweeping bow. The bar rocks with hoots and whistles.

Oliver: Whew, I dare say I’m in need of a drink after that rather electric dance. Oliver fans himself. Now, back to the subject at hand. When did you develop this pet peeve with Glee, love boat?

Val: The moment one of my daughter's friends gave her the CD soundtrack.

Oliver shrugs. So, tell me, sweet thing, where do you think utopia is?

Val: My utopia is in a tropical paradise somewhere with Channing Tatum, Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jon Bon Jovi. I'm lost Oliver, can you point me the way to my little Valtopia?

With a wink and a smile, Oliver hits his remote and a tropical paradise with Channing Tatum, Dale Earnhardt Jr and Jon Bon Jovi appear on screen, fanning Val and feeding her bon bons as she lounges in a chaise lounge, grinning from ear to ear.

How else can Dear Oliver help, my pet?

Val: You can help me sit back and laugh. I got back at my daughter by grounding her from all of her CD's except the one I gave her. It has a Mariachi band, some Spanish guy singing a French song and songs I know she will detest! So join in for our big guffaw Oliver, MOM won!

Oliver kisses Val on each cheek, hands her 30 pieces of silver and grins. With a flick of his 007 remote, the repugnant Mariachi band strut in, six short and chubby Spanish inmates that haven’t shaved or showered in way too long, gather ‘round Val, belting out French tunes for all they’re worth in between hoots and whistles.

Oliver hands the be-frazzled Val a double shot of tequila. Ah, well, y’all know what they say ‘bout what goes ‘round comes ‘round. Val? Love? Are you all right?

Final words from Val Pearson

I would love for each person visiting to stop by You Gotta Read reviews, an awesome review site I work with. Here's the link: Then there is my personal review site for the sweeter books here (still working with the layout on that one) and the my spicier blog here
It would be greatly appreciated if you decided to follow the sites listed. With your help, more reviews can get greater exposure.

Oliver, Dahling, thank you so much for ..... just looking so sexy to begin with and for listening to all my drama issues.


Sharon Donovan said...

A warm welcome to my dear gal pal Val Pearson!

lastnerve said...

Hi ya'll! Sharon, that was too funny! I made my daughter sit down and read it with me, she was laughing her head off. Of course she just had a Shirley Temple. The whole Glee incident was so funny! I had set up a blog just with the stuff my girls do and on this page, you will see the video of the the song I made her listen to here

Sharon, I love you girl and thanks to everyone who is stopping by today. I have to do something with my church so I will be back this afternoon to talk with everyone coming by!

Hywela Lyn said...

Hi Sharon and Val - and Oliver

What a fun Post. Went to your Blog, Val, how funny!

You and Oliver have a good time now!

Sharon Donovan said...

OH MG Val, outrageously funny video! I felt like I was right with y'all. You rock the page girl and I love you to!

Destiny Booze, Novelist said...

That was too cute! Loved it!

Pat Dale said...

Hey Sharon, nice to hear from you again. That doggone Oliver's at again too, I see. I share Val's angst at all the fuss over Glee. My wife loves it but I have to leave the room. I have to say, though, that they are darn good. Thanks Val for sharing with us and I'll take you up on your GottaRead review site.
And Sharon, here's lookin' at you, babe!
Pat Dale

Wendy Davy said...

Another great interview Sharon! Val, thanks for all your reviews. Keep 'em coming.


Miss Mae said...

Hi ya there, Val! So good to see you here, and to know that Oliver is up to his usual ruckus! :)

Thanks so much for your support of us authors, Val. It's great folk like you that keep us going! :)

Enjoy your day at Sharon's blog!

Much love,

Sharon Donovan said...

Destiny, dale and Wendy, thank y'all for stopping in to Oliver's bar to chat with Val. Belly up to the bar and Oliver will mix up your favorite cocktail. Dale, won't Val's daughter be thrilled to have a buddy!

Ginger Simpson said...

How awesome...two of my favorite people in the same place at the same time. Sharon, thank you for hosting Val today. This woman has brightened my life so many times with her appreciative and well-written reviews of my work. I have, on some occasions, considered throwing in the proverbial towel, but then I discover something Val has said about my writing. She's an inspiration, and evidently, not just to me, but to countless authors on the Web. Love you Val...but then I hope you already knew that.

lastnerve said...

You guys are so sweet! Thanks so much for stopping by today. I just wanted to say to all the authors, thank you so much for sharing your work with us. If not for you, we'd never be able to escape our crazy lives. Oh look, Oliver is reading a book! haha

Rebecca J Vickery said...

Hi Val, Sharon, and kisses to Oliver!
Val is one of my all-time favorite book reviewers -- always fair and honest without ever slamming an author or their work. Professional and helpful to the MAX!
Love you, girl! If there's ever anything I can do for you, please give me a yell.

Linda Swift said...

Hello Val. It's nice to get to know you and hear such nice things about your reviews. I have a book submittedd to you now and I'm looking forward to your comments even more since hearing all these authors praising you. And hi Sharon, so nice to see you and dear Oliver again. I'm so glad you, and he, are back in business full swing. Linda

lastnerve said...

Thanks for stopping by Linda, I read the blurb on To Those Who Wait and it looks amazing! Rebecca, you're an amazing writer! I can't say enough about your work!

Sharon Donovan said...

MM, my day is always a little brighter when y'all stop in to share a giggle. But, hey, we are all dead serious when we say that Val ROCKS THE PAGES AS A TOP NOTCH REVIEWER!

Ginger, you're one of my favorite people, and I couldn't agree more about Val being an inspiration to us authors, speaking straight from her heart. She never ceases to amaze me with this boundless energy that radiates from her very soul and makes her a shining star.

lastnerve said...

Awwwww you're making me blush lol

Sharon Donovan said...

Becca, thanks for popping in to chat with Val. She really can be counted on and trusted to give a review an author can be proud of She has a special talent for touching on a book's high points, teasing a reader into wanting to read a book without giving anything away and this is a gift.

Linda, hugs girl. Oliver and I love it when y'all pop in for a visit. I'm thrilled that you're getting to know Val and that she will be reviewing your book. They really don't come any better. I'm one of her biggest fans, but as you can see, she has a huge fan club. We love you VAL!

Laurean Brooks said...

Hi Val! "Waving" Thanks for hosting one of my sweet friends, Sharon.

This reminds me of my childhood. I was a h-mmmph! young child when the song, "Listen To The Rythmn Of The Falling Rain" topped the charts.

My older brother got every morning singing it at the top of his lungs. It was contagious. Downright addictive. Soon 6 of us kids were joining in with him, or picking up where he left off.

Poor Mama! We drove her insane. After six weeks of this same song echoing off our living room walls, Mama lost her mind.

At the first line of the song, whether sung or hummed, consciously or unconsciously, Mama grabbed a fly swatter and chased the guilty chortler out of the house.

True Story! Does this help? LOL

Sharon Donovan said...

LOL Laurie, I must admit six kids bellowing might be a bit hard on the old nervous system. Thanks for poppin in to share, love you sweetie.

lastnerve said...

@Laurean go mama! lol yes, that helps. I'm learning to be a more creative mom

Debra St. John said...

My apologies for popoin gin so late in the was hectic today.

That said, Oliver darling (kiss kiss) I REALLY could use one of your frothy concoctions. Anything with rum and strawberry flavor would be divine.

Hello Val. I can only imagine your pain. The over and over and over would drive me insane, too. But might I say I think you have the answer with indulging in a bit of Bon Jovi. My oh my that Jon is still looking smoking hot.

Maeve said...

Loved this post! However, it did trigger my own pet peeve: when blogger fights me and makes leaving a comment such a challenge!! Grrrr...I prevailed - and I also followed you on Twitter and "liked" you on Facebook. Hang in there, Val. Your daughter will eventually become your best friend. I've got two that I refrained from sealing away in a barrel when they were teenagers and they've turned into quite lovely adults. :-)

lastnerve said...

lol Maeve, I know what you mean about Blogger. I'm trying to get my blog up and nothing's happening. I sure hope you're right that they will turn into my best friends because I have three. Each is very different, so I can never say I've had practice with the one before.

Mary Ricksen said...

Your daughter sounds like a real character. I still am telling people about how sick the poor thing was.
You are somethin' else Val and I am happy to call you friend. I wish you and your family the best of everything and maybe a little visit from Jon BonJovi? A couple of days at least.
Big Bear Hugs,

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Hi Sharon, Oliver and Val!

I'm following your blogs.
Liked you on Facebook and followed you on Twitter, too. :)

Enjoyed the post, gals and Oliver.

Sharon Donovan said...

Hi Debra, Karen, Mary and Maeve, thanks loads for dropping in to give our gal Val some love. She rules!

lastnerve said...

lol, my kids are a trip for sure! Everyday there is some new type of drama and most of it is funny. and if you notice, my username is lastnerve, that's because I totally worked for that name. Thanks Mary and Karen, loved reading your comments! You guys rock!

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Val,
I can relate to what you are saying. Teenagers of today just don't have any taste in music. Oops, I think I recall my mother saying those very same words to me many years ago.



lastnerve said...

LOL Margaret!

Sharon Donovan said...

Big wave to Margaret. I would like to thank everyone for stopping in to sing Val's praises on the Dear Oliver show. Val, I can't say it enough, girl, they don't come any better than you as a friend or reviewer. Three cheers for Val, love ya girl!
Please join me next time for a very special episode of Dear Oliver when I welcome my sister, Mary Beth McCauley and her new puppy, our very own Oliver's name sake, Ollie McCauley! You don't want to miss her pet peeve, training puppy!
Until next time, may the luck of the Irish be with you as you travel through life.
Love and Blessings,

Oliver said...

Ladies, ladies, hugs and kisses, my sweet darling girls. For your pleasure this morning, gourmet coffee, Chai tea, hot chocolate and chocolate chip muffins. And for you, Val, my sweet young thing, a CD of my inmate pals singing their Mariachi hearts out, just for you, love

Leanne said...

Just serve me, Oliver. :)

Oliver said...

Lovely Leanne, let me count the ways, what can I getcha, sweet thing? Wink

lastnerve said...

LOL Mariachi inmates. lol

Anne Patrick said...

Hi Val, love your new blogs! You're an inspiration my friend. Mother to three teenage girls and going back to school. Wow! I appreciate the support you give us authors through your reviews. You're a wonderful lady and I wish you the very best!!!