Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Wednesday Spotlight with Oliver
Hello and welcome to Wednesday Spotlight! Today I have a very special guest. Our very own Oliver has agreed to be interviewed. So come into the parlor and join me for an up close and personal with my suave and debonair butler. And here he comes now. Oliver, darling, come on out!
Oliver saunters out, grinning. Dressed in a black t-shirt and low rider jeans, he takes a seat on the sofa, crosses one muscular leg over the other and blows kisses to his adoring fans. The women scream for him to flex his biceps. With a wicked wink, he obliges.
A cacophony of feminine shrieks and howls erupt from the audience, rattling the double pane windows and crystal chandelier. In between chanting his name, Oliver is bombarded with red roses, lace thongs, pictures and hotel keys. A real lady killer, Oliver scoops up handfuls of the souvenirs and takes a gallant bow.
Sharon: Thank you for agreeing to an interview, Oliver. Now, since the roles are reversed, I’ve mixed up a batch of your favorite drink, the James Bond martini and your favorite munchies, Macadamia nuts. Sharon pours the martinis into two chilled glasses and they toast.
Oliver: Perfect, just the way I like it. Shaken, not stirred. He scoops up some nuts and kisses his fingertips. Ambrosia!
Sharon: All right, now I know the ladies are dying to learn all about your life before joining my employee, so let’s get started. Tell us your full name and where you’re from.
Oliver sips his martini and winks. My name is Oliver Rodrigues Carvalho. I was born in Tuscany, but was raised in Hawaii. My sweet mama, God rest her soul, was a feisty little Italian woman with a heart as big as the day is long. Papa was born in Madrid, Spain and was a legendary bull fighter until his dying day.
Sharon: Sigh. What a family history. And tell us, Oliver, with all that hot blood surging through your veins, did you ever entertain the notion of carrying on the legend? I’m sure all the ladies out there can visualize you as a very sexy matador, taunting the bull with your red cape. Inquiry minds want to know.
Oliver: I remember watching Papa a few times as a boy, and being both fascinated and horrified. A raging bull is not a pretty sight, especially when he’s charging full steam ahead at a loved one, determined to stomp him to death. No, not once did I wish to pursue Papa’s career.
Sharon: You know, something I’ve always wondered about, Oliver. Why the color red? Correct me if I’m mistaken, but aren’t all animals color blind?
A seductive chuckle erupts from the back of Oliver’s throat. I always wondered who decided animals are color blind? To my knowledge, they can’t speak for themselves. But I can speak the truth about the red cape that is flapped in their face. It isn’t the color that annoys them. The bull gets stimulated by the flapping of the material. It enrages them and makes them charge.
Sharon: Well, thank you for clearing that up, Oliver. Are you ready for another martini?
Oliver winks. Keep them coming.
Sharon tops off the chilled glasses. Now, tell us how you came to be a part of my employee. And remember, darling, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Oliver clinks his martini glass and smiles a beguiling smile. Would I lie? The truth is, I love to cook and clean and am a connoisseur of fine wines. If there’s a drink or martini out there I don’t know about, I’ll learn and mix it up faster than I can pump my biceps. So when I saw the ad you were running in the paper, what choice did I have? Obviously, your mama didn’t raise no fool, and you hired me on the spot. And if I might be so bold to say, working for you is the best.
Sharon beams a brilliant smile. Why, thank you, Oliver. How sweet of you to say. I am the best boss, right? Sharon bats her eyelashes, still beaming.
Oliver: Well, there’s that. But I was actually thinking about all the hot babes you interview that I get to wait on hand and foot.
Sharon pouts. But of course. But tell them the real shocker, what you do at night.
Oliver grins and pumps his biceps. I’m a private investigator. I work undercover and have done a variety of surveillance work from tracking cheating spouses to some shady deals I am too much of a gentleman to discuss.
Sharon: And this makes you all the more dark and mysterious. Now, no doubt the ladies are curious about your love life. Are you or have you ever been married? If not, are you dating?
Oliver winks and grins? I’ve never been married and am still waiting for the woman who holds the key to my heart.
The women sigh.
Sharon: And just what type of woman might that be, Oliver?
Oliver: I’ll know her when my heart beats for her and only her.
The women gasp.
Sharon: Well, it’s either getting hot in here or thick in here. She fans her face. But obviously, our darling Oliver isn’t about to budge an inch. So on to other subjects. What kind of music do you like?
Oliver: I love all music. It speaks a language all its own. It can be romantic, energetic, sad or thrilling. But outside of rock and roll, jazz crawls beneath my skin and makes me feel alive. But when I’m thinking about a case or a woman, I prefer classical music.
Sharon: Lovely. And how about a date. Where do you take a woman on a date to impress her?
Oliver: It all depends on the woman. I prefer a woman that knows her mind and isn’t afraid to let me know her passions. But a selfish woman or self-serving woman is a real turn off. For a first date, I enjoy a quiet dinner, soft music and a nice bottle of wine. Talking is good. And a woman must have a sense of humor, but above all, she must have a heart that echoes her joy.
Sharon: clutches her heart. What a man! What about reading and movies? What are your preferences:
Oliver: Raises an eyebrow. You’re asking a PI that question while he’s sitting here drinking a James Bond martini? He winks. I love a good who done it, James Bond is my hero and I prefer to watch historical documentaries in my spare time.
Sharon: Do you have a hobby? Not that I give you any time to pursue one, but we all have a passion. What’s yours?
Oliver grins. I suppose it’s my Italian blood from Mama’s side. But I enjoy growing my own grapes and making wine from my own vineyards. When doing this, it’s something that I created with my own two hands. And wine is very good for you and a special bottle for the right occasion adds the perfect ambiance.
Sharon: Oliver, you are a jack of all trades. And tell us, do you have a favorite wine? Red or white?
Oliver: They say red is good for the blood and my personal preference is Tuscan Red. He kisses his fingertips. Delicioso..
Sharon: How sweet. Well, that just about wraps things up. And while I run in and brew your favorite coffee, chocolate almond and bring out your favorite dessert, a black forest cake smothered in cherries, you can entertain the ladies. Thank you for a most revealing interview, Oliver. And if I don’t say it enough, you’re the best. Sharon leans over and plants a kiss on Oliver’s lips and saunters to the kitchen, swooning.